Monday, December 29, 2008

Caroline Kennedy you are no Jlo, Jlo is a self made woman

you are Paris Hilton BEFORE Paris decided to make something out of what she was handed
(Caroline Kennedy reads this blog, which is why I am addressing her directly)

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Governor Patterson accidentally names wrong Kennedy to Senate

Stunning New Yorkers and the nation, Governor Patterson today appointed Tawana Kennedy of the Kennedy Fried Chicken family to fill Hillary Clinton's soon to be vacated Senate Seat...When confronted by reporters, Patterson said "..give me a break, I am blind and senators dont do shit anyway..." An aide to the Governor speaking off the record said they are looking into the possibility that Tawana may be distantly related to or have once met the "other" Kennedy family..

Saturday, December 27, 2008

when I try to cancel a gym membership and the manager is black, I feel badly...I am also more likely to buy something from a black person

I know that is "white guilt" and kinda stupid and racist in a way..I am also like that with elderly people

Black people are supposed to be poor, but on reality shows they always have huge cool houses

I am watching Real Housewives of Atlanta right now..trying to fall asleep for a little..every one of these black women live in mansions...same on Wife Swap...blacks must be doing well now

Learn about Daniel Johnston today

give this at least 12 seconds before you make a judgement

one more

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Tonights the 4th night of Channukah - remember to stick 4 candles up your ass

unlike Shabbat - on Channukah it IS permissible to light the candles after sundown, however it must be from a preexisting flame

sundown tonight in Abilene, Texas occurs at 5:40 pm

if you are not in Abilene go here to find out your time

keep track of when girls you like menstruate

that way, you can can chart when they are likely to be ovulating (usually about half way between periods) - and at their horniest

Has anyone else noticed this?

I tend to be openminded, but I find pet birds kinda creepy and disgusting

I am not talking about ducks walking around someones yard - that can be cute, I mean birds in a little cage..something about that is very creepy.....just siting in the little cage taking their little bird shits..and here is what birds lead to.
(disgusting bird story)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I've often wondered if I disguised myself as a big fat dyke if I could get hot lesbian chicks

I kinda have that butch bulldyke lesbian a Rosie O Donnell type...maybe I will go to a lesbian bar one night and try it.

I got my eyebrows waxed yesterday, but I am not gay

last year, Sheila convinced me to do it, she said my eyebrows looked messy, and when I did it, she said it looked so good that it "..opened my eyes up.."....its been like a year and a half, so figured I would do it again..when you are fat, its very tempting to do simple little things that supposedly make you look better..thats why big giant FAT girls always have great fingernails.

(as for the gay comment, I want to make it clear, I am not anti gay people , I just dont want to be labeled something I am not, the same way if, lets say for example a friend asked me to help them carry a ham down the street (which would gross me out, but I would help a friend), I would want to make it clear to people I am not a pork eater.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Jerry Orbach is not Jewish and he is dead.

Jerry Orbach, the actor who played Lenny Briscoe on Law and Order, and I think he played the father on the movie Dirty Dancing is not Jewish and he died in 2004. You can learn more about Jerry on the the internet.

Jim McClure is Jewish

A lot of people may not realize this but Jim McClure is Jewish.

Jim McClure may be giving me a Black Hockey shirt

The other day, Jim came up to me and said he had a bunch of extra hockey shirts he never wore and wanted to know if I wanted one..he said he had a plain black one..which would be perfect cause everyone is giving me shit for wearing my Penn State blue hockey shirt inside out - the only reason I wear it inside out is cause with all the labeling on it , it just started to feel to busy to me...and Jim told me the black would look better on me cause I often wear black pants

anyway, I felt a little awkward, about it, cause I wasnt sure if he felt obligated to give it to me or if he really wanted to get rid of it, but I told him it sounded great and he said he would bring it in sometime.

We won..Thanks to our fasting, Bubba has been re signed

Thanks to our fasting, Bubba has been re least thats what I read on SFN and some people told me at Sirius the other day.but maybe people are just BSing me to get me to eat..If he was really re signed, all the thanks for the tireless effort and sacrifice goes to me and those of you who fasted along with me...just in case they are BSing us, I may continue to water fast secretly

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Water Fast for Bubba

Wednesday, December 10th -Day 1

Hey I begin to write this its around 8:30 pm...I started the fast around 9am I think (I will check exact time later), so, its been about 11 and a 1/2 hours...I have experienced some hunger..and in fact when I got home from work today, I absentmindedly reached into a half eaten salad from night before and put some lettuce in my mouth, but I immediately remembered and spit it out (before swallowing anything)

the fast will continue till Bubba is re signed to a contract he is happy with OR till I die from fasting...the bottom llne for me is that Bubba, Brent and all are part of the team..and I want them to stay on the team.

while I am primarily fasting for Bubba to be re-signed to a new contract (interesting how the words re sign and resign are the same)..other issues have come forward since my fast began

I will also continue to water fast until Lisa G agrees to undergo some sort of counseling to curb her alleged sexual harassing of Artie (now whether she is actually doing that or not has not been proven in a court of law...and she has not been convicted of anything YET)...However,according to Artie and several witnesses she is definitely making Artie uncomfortable with her constant come ons to him and sexual innuendo...I truly think a lot of the crap Artie has been going thru recently..being late, absenteeism, drug use, obesity..stems from Lisa creating and unsafe, hostile work environment for Artie...I think the weight gain has been his way of trying to shield himself from her

other isssues I am considering adding to my water fast include:

Fran Drescher named the new New York Senator'

Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks gives Eric the actor oral - to make up for the disparaging remarks she made that have ruined his life

Jon Hein agrees to masterbate at least once

unity of the Moslems and Hindus in India

I am invited to have dinner at Sandra Bernhard's...if they can have Ralph over they can have me over....

all cruelty against animals and minorities is stopped

by the way...I did not stuff myself with water or food prior to the initial weigh in (as I have done when we did past weight loss contests)so the initial weight loss may not be as much as some are expecting..I expect tomorrow I will be down about 6 to 9 pounds..depending on what time of day I weigh in/how much water I have drunk by then

while I have had bouts of hunger and when walking by food places I am so drawn to go in..overall I am doing resolve to continue water fasting is definitely strengthened by my cause - Bubba being re-signed and Lisa G to stop sexually harassing Artie..also I am already starting to feel morally and character wise - superior to "food eaters".. I have this feeling of how weak people are that have to eat food.

That's all for now...hope all is well..Merry Christmas..I will report back soon